Pop Goes The TARDIS
-
Introduction ('Til The Aliens Came)Introduction ('Til The Aliens Came)
Time to sleep, or, are you waking up?
(In order of appearance)
Sister of mine, mother of mine
Sontar-huh, sontar-huh, sontar-huh, sontar-huh
Raxacoricofallapatorius
Moisturise Me! Moisturise Me!
Are you my mummy, are you my mummy?
Information, Information
You will be assimilated, assimilated
Don’t don’t don’t blink no, don’t don’t don’t blink
E-e-e-exterminate, e-e-e-exterminate
You are the weakest link
You should kill us all on sight
Burn with me
The fat just walks away, just walks away that’s what it does, the fat just walks away
Count the shadowsThrough crimson stars and silent stars and tumbling nebulas like oceans set on fire
Through empires of glass and civilizations of pure thought
And a whole terrible, wonderful universe of possibilities
You see these eyes, they’re old eyes and one thing I can tell you
Monsters are realNothing was strange at all
All of the world carried on
Things fell as they should fall
Time went as time goes, on and on and on
It was fine all fine until
The aliens came -
Baby, Get Me A TARDISBaby, Get Me A TARDIS
Valentine’s Day you got me flowers
Pretty pink roses and sweet love letters
Easter Day you got me chocolates
Yeah they were the good ones in the shiny wrappers
But on my Birthday, I said “Babe
I can see those cute little boxes that you brought me
They’re probably something nice like jewellery
But that just don’t cut it for me”If you really want my love
Wanna show me what I mean to you
Then you gotta lift your game up
Take it to the next rank, baby you can do thisOh, I wanna travel through time and space
Be the hero who saves the day
So if you wanna do this yo
Baby, get me a TARDIS
Oh, I like gifts and cellophane
And feeling that special way
So if my heart’s your target yo
Baby, get me a TARDIS, OhIf you wanna do this
Baby, get me a TARDIS
If my heart’s your target
You know what I wantYou’re not time lord material clearly
Your screwdriver’s not even sonic, not even nearly
But I can wait it out or teleport a century
If I’ve got a blue police box to take me
I know you’re spun out, it’s a lot to take in too
But I believe in the future and past of us, I believe in you
So take the next step, treat it like a recipe
If you want a literal forever with meIf you really want my love
Wanna show me what I mean to you
Then you gotta lift your game up
Take it to the next rank, baby you can do thisOh, I wanna travel through time and space
Be the hero who saves the day
So if you wanna do this yo
Baby, get me a TARDIS
Oh, I like gifts and cellophane
And feeling that special way
So if my heart’s your target yo
Baby, get me a TARDIS, OhIf you wanna do this
Baby, get me a TARDIS
If my heart’s your target
You know what I wantCause I don’t think a hundred years is long enough for you and me, no
Cause I need you to be with me through war and peace,
Kings and presidents, space invasions, robots, Daleks and anything at allI wanna travel through time and space
Be the hero who saves the day
So if you wanna do this yo
Baby, get me a TARDIS
Oh, I like gifts and cellophane
And feeling that special way
So if my heart’s your target yo
Baby, get me a TARDIS, OhIf you wanna do this
Baby, get me a TARDIS
If my heart’s your target
You know what I want
Oh- If you wanna do this
Yo- Baby, get me a TARDIS
Oh- If my heart’s your target
Baby, get me a TARDIS -
Take The World OnTake The World On
The road twists and gets darker by the day
It becomes so much harder to see the way
You lose your crutches and your shortcuts are sealed with clay
You learn that there’s no such thing as safe
It’s hard when you can’t tell your future, oh
But it’s all a part of the adventureWhen I say run- run, reverse polarity
Be fantastic, allons-y
You might be scared but
You got a brave heart
Say Geronimo and take the world on
No more pudding brain
No more hum hum maybes
No more poppycock
Don’t be a jelly baby
No more pudding brain
No more hum hum maybes
No more poppycock
Take the world onYou feel trapped and like you’re carrying the Earth’s weight
You feel lost and your mind can’t think things out straight
You try convince yourself there’s an easier path to take
Then you learn that easy never works out great
It’s hard when you can’t tell your future, oh
But it’s all a part of the adventureWhen I say run- run, reverse polarity
Be fantastic, allons-y
You might be scared but
You got a brave heart
Say Geronimo and take the world on
No more pudding brain
No more hum hum maybes
No more poppycock
Don’t be a jelly baby
No more pudding brain
No more hum hum maybes
No more poppycock
Take the world onOh oh oh everything was impossible once
Oh oh oh all change starts with taking the world onWhen I say run- run, reverse polarity
Be fantastic, allons-y
You might be scared but
You got a brave heart
Say Geronimo and take the world on
When I say run- run, reverse polarity
Be fantastic, allons-y
You might be scared but
You got a brave heart
Say Geronimo, take, take the world on -
She’s Blue (Eiffel 65 Parody)She’s Blue (Eiffel 65 Parody)
Yo listen up, here’s a story
About a police box that lives in a blue world
And all time and all space
And everywhere she waits
Is just blue, like her
Inside and outsideBlue her panels
Blue bars on her windows
And blue framed doors
Cause everything is blue that’s hers
And herself
When she’s left waiting around
Cause she ain’t got nobody to listenShe’s blue dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
She’s blue dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadieBlue like The Siren or Sontaran armour
Blue like a slim Dorian Maldovar
Blue, how she feels being taken by Torchwood
Or in the pit of an impossible planet
Watching out like the blue eye of a Dalek
Forgotten and left all alone just waiting
Blue from locking up the light and life inside
Blue like the feeling of being left behindShe’s blue dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
She’s blue dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadieInside and outside
Blue her panels
Blue bars on her windows
And blue framed doors
Cause everything is blue that’s hers
And herself
When she’s left waiting around
Cause she ain’t got nobody to listenShe’s blue dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
She’s blue dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie
dabadee dabadie dabadee dabadie -
ExterminateExterminate
We’re the trash cans with the nobbly bits,
Blue eye telescopes staring right at you,
Funny voices, hands that are plungers and whisks
Not so funny when we go and zap you
Silly human beings, thinking they could make us
Iron soldiers right? Yeah, you see why they’re so worthless
I think that the Earth has had enough of their existence
Which is why we’ll gladly go and get rid of themExterminate the human race
It’s time we rise in their place
Exterminate the human race
Bow down to the emperor
This world is a Dalek’s world
Exterminate, exterminate, exterminate
This world is a Dalek’s world
Exterminate, exterminate, exterminate
This world is a Dalek’s worldThere’s the Doctor right, he gets mixed up in things
Just cause of this time war we have, which by the way we’re gonna win
He may have foiled us once, he may have foiled us twice
But he’s just delaying our glorious, inevitable rise
Our plans are simply getting more ingenious
Soon enough he’ll be wiped right off the planet
Without the Doctor, the humans are hopeless
Not much of a threat, more just an annoyanceExterminate the human race
It’s time we rise in their place
Exterminate the human race
Bow down to the emperor
This world is a Dalek’s world
Exterminate, exterminate, exterminate
This world is a Dalek’s world
Exterminate, exterminate, exterminate
This world is a Dalek’s worldDalek Sec had some ideas
Human-Dalek hybrid traitors
He thought that we should change the race
But he was wrong
We were born to hateExterminate the human race
It’s time we rise in their place
Exterminate the human race
Bow down to the emperor
This world is a Dalek’s world -
When The Cheesecake Was WholeWhen The Cheesecake Was Whole
I’ve always lingered on the littlest things
Odd oddities, straight lines hitting kinks
My mind could write tapes over
A hundred, billion times with the drumming of my mind
I’d take time travel, screw it right up
Try to tell you how I feel, stuff it up, go back, stuff it up
Then I’d go and lock myself in
Hidden away in my time travel space shipCause I’d be the fattest Face Of Boe
With the biggest collection of guitars and novelty pens
I’d be the Doctor’s greatest foe
Paradoxing over the lamest, simplest thingsIf I had hold of time
I’d waste that power good
I’d make a mess of that role
Oh oh oh oh
(I’d eat it and eat it again
Then zap myself back to when
The cheesecake was whole
The cheesecake was whole x2)
If I had hold of time
I’d waste that power good
I’d make a mess of that role
Oh oh oh oh
(I’d eat it and eat it again
Then zap myself back to when
The cheesecake was whole
The cheesecake was whole x2)If I stared into the vortex of time
I’d lose my mind, straight up, knocked out in one shot
Without you, I’d be lost in a pointless,
Endless empty space
I’d wanna redo my life all up, all over
Ripping holes in time and space as I go there
Stumbling like a kid with a nuclear bomb
Lost like a teen looking for some funI’d be the fattest Face Of Boe
With the biggest collection of guitars and novelty pens
I’d be the Doctor’s greatest foe
Paradoxing over the lamest, simplest thingsIf I had hold of time
I’d waste that power good
I’d make a mess of that role
Oh oh oh oh
(I’d eat it and eat it again
Then zap myself back to when
The cheescake was whole
The cheesecake was whole x2)
If I had hold of time
I’d waste that power good
I’d make a mess of that role
Oh oh oh oh
(I’d eat it and eat it again
Then zap myself back to when
The cheescake was whole
The cheesecake was whole x3) -
Two HeartsTwo Hearts
Oh you’ve been down yeah
In different worlds
But you didn’t ever lose hope, no
Not when stabbed by an alien witch,
Rejected in your dreams or bartering with galactic fish
Cause it gets tough right?
That time lord thing
Everyone’s counting on you to win
It’s not your planet
It’s not your job
But you can’t help that helping stuffIt’s hard not to care when you’ve got two hearts
And you’re stuck on Mars and you can hear them screaming
It’s hard not to care when you’ve got two hearts
And you swear that you’ll help until they both stop beating
It’s hard not to care when you
You got two hearts, you got two hearts, oh
It’s hard not to care when you
You got two hearts, you got two hearts, oh, ohOh you’ve been stranded
You nearly died
Some loony aged you til you shrunk in size
You crossed dimensions
Sprinted space and time
Just to set things from wrong to right
You could just leave it
Have holidays
For the next dozen centuries
But you can’t stop it
It’s in your veins
And you won’t leave things til they’re A-OKIt’s hard not to care when you’ve got two hearts
And you’re stuck on Mars and you can hear them screaming
It’s hard not to care when you’ve got two hearts
And you swear that you’ll help until they both stop beating
It’s hard not to care when you
You got two hearts, you got two hearts, oh
It’s hard not to care when you
You got two hearts, you got two hearts, oh, oh<Instrumental>
It’s hard not to care when you’ve got two hearts
And you’re stuck on Mars and you can hear them screaming
It’s hard not to care when you’ve got two hearts
And you swear that you’ll help until they both stop beating
It’s hard not to care when you
You got two hearts, you got two hearts, oh
It’s hard not to care when you
You got two hearts, you got two hearts, oh -
Doctor Who Guest Song MashDoctor Who Guest Song Mash
You shout it out
But I can’t hear a word you say
It’s discord and rhyme
But I’ll hunt til I find you
They’ll cut me down
Their sticks and stones may break my bones
But I’ll fight the crowds
Cause I’m hungry like the wolfAnd with a taste of your lips I’m on a ride
You’re like voodoo baby- your tainted love
Is a poison paradise
It just takes hold
So I’ll run to this crazy little thing called love
Don’t bring me down grooss
I’ll run to this crazy little thing called love
Don’t bring me down groossLike a ghost town
With haunted memories of us
The night is awire
But I’ll hunt til I find you
With their stone hearts
They may shoot their machine guns at us
Burn the Earth afire
But I’m hungry like the wolfAnd with a taste of your lips I’m on a ride
You’re like voodoo baby- your tainted love
Is a poison paradise
It just takes hold
So I’ll run to this crazy little thing called love
Don’t bring me down grooss
I’ll run to this crazy little thing called love
Don’t bring me down groossThe scars of your love remind me of us
And keep me thinking that we could have it all
I’ll spend my last two bits, I’ll put it on the Ritz
Cause I’m thinking that we could have it all
The scars of your love remind me of us
I’ll spend my last two bits so we can have it all, becauseWith a taste of your lips I’m on a ride
You’re like voodoo baby- your tainted love
Is a poison paradise
It just takes hold
So I’ll run to this crazy little thing called love
Don’t bring me down grooss
I’ll run to this crazy little thing called love
Don’t bring me down grooss
With a taste of your lips I’m on a ride
Don’t bring me down gross
Your tainted love is paradise
Don’t bring me down gross
So I’ll run to this crazy little thing called love
So I’ll run to this crazy little thing called love
Crazy little thing called love -
New CompanionNew Companion
If Bieber was the companion
He’d baby baby baby oh
Instagram the details
Then make a Zoolander cameoIf Harry Potter was the companion
He’d expelliaramus in battle
Hit on Amy Pond
And have a screwdriver vs wand duelIf Hawking was the companion
He’d roll his eyes at every turn
Correct the Doctor’s miscalculations
And end fighting him wielding a spoonIf Murdoch was the companion
He’d find a way to capitalise
Hack the Dalek’s cellphones
And beat them through the headlinesIf the Doctor picks a new companion
We could live in a different world
If the Doctor picks a new companion
The changes could be absurd
If the Doctor picks a new companion
The Earth could run amuck
If the Doctor picks a new companion
Let’s hope he don’t stuff it up
Let’s hope he don’t stuff it upIf Simon Cowell was the companion
He’d scour space and time
To assemble an alien boyband
He could both profit off and criticiseIf Kim Kardashian was the companion
She’d make trips a reality show
Wear almost nothing
But still sell it as a range of clothesIf Aquaman was the companion
He wouldn’t be much use
Unless they went underwater
Then he might be of some useIf Madonna was the companion
She’d make each trip a Madonna show
Get Sycorax backing dancers
Then make a time travel fitness videoIf the Doctor picks a new companion
We could live in a different world
If the Doctor picks a new companion
The changes could be absurd
If the Doctor picks a new companion
The Earth could run amuck
If the Doctor picks a new companion
Let’s hope he don’t stuff it up
Let’s hope he don’t stuff it upIf Sheldon Cooper was the companion
He’d turn the TARDIS into a lab
Deal with his mummy problems
And be soothed by casual mathsIf Miranda Kerr was the companion
The Doctor wouldn’t be able to concentrate
She wouldn’t help much with the soloutions
But her episodes would look truly greatIf Oprah was the companion
She’d inspire aliens to reach their dreams
Find a future weight loss solution
And interview ancient celebritiesIf Kylie Minogue was the companion
Oh wait, we’ve already done that
You remember that Titanic episode
Yeah, she’d do thatIf the Doctor picks a new companion
We could live in a different world
If the Doctor picks a new companion
The changes could be absurd
If the Doctor picks a new companion
The Earth could run amuck
If the Doctor picks a new companion
Let’s hope he don’t stuff it up
Let’s hope he don’t stuff it up
Let’s hope he don’t stuff it up -
The Recap Ruined My LifeThe Recap Ruined My Life
Life was great in my Tom Baker scarf
In the kitchen popping popcorn
The lounge was set in my favourite shade of tartan
And I put the kettle on
I was prepared for a night in, my nails were TARDIS blue
On the couch, slightly right, locked into my imprint groove
So relaxed, so alive, hot chocolate with my popcorn
Sonic screwdriver remote to turn the screen onBut then the first thing that came on
Was the recap of last week’s episode
I was glued there like the Teller held my gaze
I can’t re-write time- the recap ruined my life
I can’t press rewind- the recap ruined my lifeI sat frozen, chocolate spilling down my chin,
My hands shaking as it hit me
Memories flooding back as if I was a Ganger
It didn’t feel like me
Like River said, spoilers weren’t meant to be watched before
My timey wimey stuff was messed up something rough for sure
I stared through my tears, the screen went blurry and soft
But I couldn’t bring myself to turn it offCause the first thing that came on
Was the recap of last week’s episode
Absorbed like Absorbaloff’s prey
I can’t re-write time- the recap ruined my life
I can’t press rewind- the recap ruined my lifeRuined, foiled, it broke my plans, my dreams, I had a perfect streak
I crumbled like I lost all of my bones, crunched like stone
Time that I can’t get back, can’t hack it
Like I’m on the Wi-fi, weeping like an Angel
Lost in my time wime, popping popcorn like pills
It hurts, it’s lame, it killsThe first thing that came on
Was the recap of last week’s episode
Sucked into The Idiot’s Lantern
I can’t re-write time- the recap ruined my life
I can’t press rewind- the recap ruined my life
I can’t re-write time
I can’t press rewind
The recap ruined my life
The recap ruined my life -
Doctor Stylin’Doctor Stylin’
From a frock coat, monocle and cape, with hair gelled back
To cosmic hobo with that Spock style hair and excessive hats
To a velvet jacket, leather gloves and big bowtie
To a scarf that’s become a staple of the Doctor styleDo that cream thing with a celery badge
Bring patchwork and polka dots back
Get into question marks and plaid pants
Then go regal with a silk cravatOh we be Doctor stylin’
Oh work that tweed like no one’s watching
Oh we be Doctor stylin’
Doctor stylin
Oh Oh Doctor stylin’
Oh Oh Doctor stylin’Street smart chic, all black, leather, jeans and class
To chucks with a tight suit, loose tie and 3D glasses
Elbow patches, a fez and a cool bow tie
To a black suit with a stylish red lining insideFlick that screwdriver round, throw a wink to the side
Never going out of season
Pulling off that Mad Hatter, cricketer vibe ohOh we be Doctor stylin’
Oh work that tweed like no one’s watching
Oh we be Doctor stylin’
Doctor stylin
Oh Oh Doctor stylin’
Oh Oh Doctor stylin’Break it down, put it on, yes I’m speaking bout that long, brown coat
Give it a twirl, you look fine, in that black, V-neck shirtGot that quirky out of this world sort of style
Getting everybody’s attention
Strutting around the runways of time ohOh we be Doctor stylin’
Oh work that tweed like no one’s watching
Oh we be Doctor stylin’
Doctor stylinOh we be Doctor stylin’
Oh work that tweed like no one’s watching
Oh we be Doctor stylin’
Doctor stylinOh Oh Doctor stylin’
Oh Oh Doctor stylin’
Oh Oh Doctor stylin’
Oh Oh Doctor stylin’ -
If Only I Couldn’t Turn Back Time (Aqua Parody)If Only I Couldn’t Turn Back Time (Aqua Parody)
If only I saw reason
And thought things through
Passing through the seasons
Aint something I would do
I always seem to cause a mess
Missing people and exploding things
It can be a curse
This time lord life of mineIf only I couldn’t turn back time
If only I was like other normal guys
If only I couldn’t turn back time
I wouldn’t mess with their lives
With their livesI’d still be keen on science
I’d still build stuff with screws
Go read up on aliens
Find ways to make the news
But I always seem to cause a mess
Diseases and evil beasts
Cause I keep travelling
Through future and historyIf only I couldn’t turn back time
If only I was like other normal guys
If only I couldn’t turn back time
I wouldn’t messBut dang it’s oh so fun to go
I’ll fix it up if things go wrongIf only I couldn’t turn back time
If only I was like other normal guys
If only I couldn’t turn back time
I wouldn’t mess with their livesIf only I couldn’t turn back time
If only I was like other normal guys
If only I couldn’t turn back time
I wouldn’t mess with their livesIf only I couldn’t
If only I couldn’t
If only I couldn’t
If only I couldn’t
If only I couldn’t
If only I couldn’t
If only I couldn’t
(fade out) -
One Song SummaryOne Song Summary
Warning, this song contains spoilers
If you haven’t watched Doctor Who…
What the hell is wrong with you?A time lord was born in Gallifray
He borrowed, kinda stole, a type 40 TARDIS one day
There were evil Daleks blowing up his planet which was lame
But he did voodoo time travel
And his planet ended M.I.A.
Long story short
The Daleks all went boom kabam
In the meanwhile
The time lord went zoom kazam
Or more woosh woosh
In his time travel machine
Off to other worlds, times
And realitiesHe called himself the Doctor
A general fix-it guy
The sort that saves the world
A hundred times before sunrise
Trying to make people better
As a promise to live by
Though he’s a normal doctor
According to his paper at times
He plucked out some companions
Like Susan, Zoe, Sarah-Jane,
Martha, Donna and Amy just to name some names
He took them in his spaceship
With his screwdriver in hand
That’s his sorta weapon
Seems to somehow solve most anythingThis is just the start
This is just the start
This just the start
This is just the, this is just the start
This is just the start
This is just the start
This just the start
This is just the, this is just the startSo, back to the wooshing
The adventures and absurd
He’d stick around Earth at times
Cause humans look time lord
But venture out as well
On spacecrafts and alien worlds
Sometimes to answer calls for help
But often to impress the girls
He spoke five billion tongues
But that was often not enough
There wasn’t a single stop on his trips
That didn’t end up rough
Wherever he went
There always seemed to be trouble
And he’d only ever fix it when it all seemed impossibleThere was Daleks, Silents, Zarbi, Mister Sweet and Moroks
Mechanoids, Rills, Vinvocci and Chumblie Robots
There was Cybermen, Adipose, Racness and Krotons
Silurians, Jagrafess, Macra and Autons,
Ashta Verada, a Star Whale and Draconians
Sontarans, Tritovore, Swampies and even Vardans
There was Catkind, Sycorax, Werewolves and Reapers
Ood, Toclathane, Hath and Weeping AngelsThis is just the start (Ya-YA)
This is just the start (Mhmm)
This just the start
This is just the, this is just the start
This is just the start
This is just the start
This just the start
This is just the, this is just the startHe thought that he might be the only time lord in town
But this clown called The Master or Missy came around
A bit of a nutso, psychopathic, fun nonetheless right?
He slash she almost destroyed the universe
The Doctor got married to a girl with a song in her name
And had a daughter engineered through his DNA
But his family was much much much bigger than that
All his companions and the people he saved had his backLike Rose, the Bad Wolf girl who wore a Union Jack
Dug him so much, she crossed dimensions to get him back
Or Clara, the impossible girl who at one point could hack
She split herself in a million bits to save his time lord ass
Or Jo, who got married to a scientist man
Who apparently reminded her of The Doctor as a lad
Or Martha, a real doctor doctor with epic stunts
She taught the world his name, made them speak it all at onceThis is just the start
This is just the start
This just the start
This is just the, this is just the start
This is just the start
This is just the start
This just the start
This is just the, this is just the startAt points he did get lonely traveling space and time
Saving constellations, planets and lives
People would leave or he’d leave them, by and by
But he’d never leave their hearts, memories or their minds
It’s not surprising how easily he’d pick folks up
It’s hard to resist when the adventures never stop
And we’ve come along with him
We know it’s a helluva journey
And this is just the start
In a one song summaryThis is just the start
This is just the start
This just the start
This is just the, this is just the start
This is just the start
This is just the start
This just the start
This is just the, this is just the start